Dead end

Out and into the blue

I fear (and throw myself into) the unknown

I bought a house in a

Dead-end street

So I could always go back

Where I came from

But as with any fear

It comes with strings and longings attached

The longing of not belonging

Anywhere, to anyone

I visit the bathroom many times a day

So I can be alone

So I can flush and start anew

I visit the past, I lock the door

I hear poundings from the future

I wish to be here now.

It’s never now. It’s never here.

I wish I could count breaths

But the truth is I despise needing them

It’s uncanny

I will never be free, and somehow, that’s ok too.

Go ahead the extra mile

Just remember it’s a dead-end

You need stamina to come back

Or you might end up dead.